Registration is now open!

To celebrate, I’d like to introduce you to an amazing young man.

“My name is Preston Miller. This is my fifth year volunteering as a Master Knight at Knights of Freedom Summit. I love speech and debate, and have been very successful in speech and debate tournaments and mock trial. I also love musical theater, and have starred as the lead in multiple shows, including Annie Jr., Guys and Dolls Jr., and Mulan Jr. I want to serve a two year mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints when I’m 19, and after that I want to go to law school at BYU.”

Preston will be serving as this year’s Royal Master Knight. He sets an excellent example of serving “with exactness” and we are thrilled to be working with him. Preston was involved in all of the interviews for our Youth Leaders this year and as part of the process he also wrote a paper on our theme of “Raise Your Standard High.”

Raise Your Standard High

The world as we know it today is changing at an ever increasing rate. Technology that was brand new, world class and “the thing” not 15 years ago is now obsolete. As the world has changed, people have changed. As people have changed, unfortunately, virtue has been lost, standards have shifted, and those things which were once thought be to so good are now considered irrelevant and hindering. Like the technology of the past, standards, values and morals are now seen by the world to be “obsolete.”

Where once upon a time, having sex outside of marriage was considered a grievous sin, and something to avoid at all costs, it is now something that is common and even accepted. What are the results of this loss of morality? Broken families, broken people, and broken hearts. Children are born without fathers, and women are forced to raise children alone. Many studies have linked sex outside of marriage to crime and poverty.

Another example of changing and disappearing values is the lack of religion in the public sphere. To speak of God in school is now a sin in and of itself. To hold to your religion and it’s values is seen as weak and silly, and something to be ridiculed for. The lack of religion and lack of respect for Deity results in the mentality: “I can do whatever I want, just because I am who I am.” The shunning of God teaches the idea that man can commit sin and fallow all of his passions, regardless of the morality, or the lack thereof, of his actions.

The loss of standards in society and in the world as a whole has had incredibly damaging results. The world as we know it is degenerating. Even as technology advances, the users of that technology are drawing closer and closer to moral apathy and the resultant fall of society.

Individuals who have become devoid of standards and virtue become devoid of their sense of right and wrong, and begin to believe that there is no right and wrong. As soon as individuals do not believe in right and wrong, anything is permissible. As soon as sex outside of marriage isn’t seen as wrong, it is accepted, and then promoted. As soon as it isn’t wrong for God to be forgotten, atheism becomes the norm, and society loses the guidance of the Almighty.

If society continues to lose it’s standards and virtues, one result will follow: society will fall. We will lose all moral grounding, and will be as a scrap of paper, flying, shifting, and moving at the slightest whims of the winds of the world, with no idea where we are going. All sense of right and wrong will be gone, and all that is “good” and “bad” will no longer be so. All of our technological advances would be for naught, because they cannot accomplish any good. Indeed, there will be no such thing as “good.”

But man is not lost.

There is still that spark, that light within him that yearns for that which is good and right, and tells mankind that moral goodness is the only way to true happiness and prosperity. It is this spark that tells us that good and evil do exist. It is this spark that tells us the difference between right and wrong. It is this spark that triumphs in virtue, and sorrows in vice. This spark, this light, is conscience. The light of conscience burns strong in the hearts of men, but not strong enough to stand undefended against the storms of the world. It must be protected and defended, lest it go out. If we loss our conscience, our sense of right and wrong, then mankind is truly lost. The best protection for our conscience against the darkness and storms of the world is integrity. To have integrity is to hold to our conscience, and to stand by what is good and true and uphold it no matter what. To have integrity is to do what is right when no one is looking, when it is inconvenient, or when it is hard. To have integrity is to stay true to your standards, regardless of hardship or ridicule.  To have integrity is to be true to yourself and what you know is right, no matter what.

Integrity is the moral fiber that holds society together, and keeps immorality from creeping into our lives. It results in men and women standing up for what they believe, and fighting against all that is wrong and evil.  If we can have integrity, we can have a morally good society. Integrity is not lost, and it’s value can still be found. Men still respect and honor a person who holds true to himself.

As integrity still stands strong in the hearts of men, the light of conscience still burns bright. If we lose our integrity, we will lose our sense of right and wrong, and with it we will lose everything. We must never give into the influences around us, screaming at us to let go of ourselves. We must stand tall, and tell the world that right is still right, and wrong is still wrong. As we hold to our standards and keep our integrity, we will shine as a light to the world, a banner for the goodness in the hearts of men to rally around. This then, is our mission: to raise our standard of integrity high, and show the world that virtue is not obsolete, that morality will heal the wounds of the world, and that conscience will bring light to the darkness of the world.

Preston Miller

Registration for the 8th annual Summit will open in two days. To celebrate, I thought I’d share a bit of history with you about how the Summit came to be.

Jody Gonzales started Knights of Freedom for her sons and, as most home school moms do, she invited a few other families to participate. She knew that boys were getting lost in the shuffle and the way our society treats education but she also knew that when a boy has a cause to fight for, he will rise to the occasion. By using the virtues of Knighthood as a model she helped the boys in her club gain an understanding of what it means to be a courageous, moral leader. The boys had weekly activities and studied great American leaders. It was a fabulous thing. She joined with American Youth Leadership Institute and the club grew.

In 2004 a friend of mine and I were looking for something for our sons. We knew about Jody’s Knights of Freedom chapter and wanted to register our boys but the waiting list was prohibitive. With the help of AYLI we started our own chapter and more chapters quickly followed. By 2005 there were 8-10 chapters and we started discussing how fun it would be to hold a Summit, where the boys from the various chapters could come together and have a knighthood simulation.

The first Summit was held in September of 2005 at Sherwood Park in Salt Lake City. I was a volunteer at that event, not on the board, so I don’t have precise records but I think we had somewhere around 30-40 boys in attendance. They had so much fun! The boys constructed pool-noodle swords and foam shields and went through a series of activities that taught them about being a hero. It was a great success.

The next year registration for the Summit was doubled, around 65 boys attended. It was expanded to be a two-day event and the first Master Knights were selected. It was difficult year. Jody worked tirelessly in gathering together supplies and volunteers but had difficulty finding enough of either. Then as the day approached the rain settled in. Temperatures dropped to the thirties and forties and many people wondered if we were going to have a Summit at all. Jody was determined however, and despite a difficult and freezing first day, the Summit came together. The boys learned that good things aren’t always easy but they are still worth the effort.

Something very important was happening that year. Jody told me that there were times when she wondered why everything was happening the way it was. Why was it so difficult? Her boys had grown beyond the age for the group and she was wondering what was going to happen to this wonderful thing she had started. What she didn’t know then was that these difficulties weren’t for her, but for Richard and I.

Up to that point, Summit was fun, something we wanted to help with so that our son could attend but nothing that we felt any ownership or passion about. During the night between day one and day two of that Summit, while Richard stayed up all through the night constructing swords, he found a deep and abiding love for the event.

That love is what prompted me to take on the position of Knights of Freedom liaison with AYLI when it was offered to me just a few months later. Starting in 2007, Richard and I took over the Knights of Freedom Summit with Jody’s blessing. We have come to love it with all our hearts. Every year we meet the most amazing young men who truly understand what it means to be a hero. Some of these young men have continued on for many years and are now serving as Master Knights this year. It is a pleasure and a privilege to see them grow into such remarkable men.

Some statistics

Over the years there have been roughly 750 attendees and 1000 volunteers involved in the Summit.
That means about 1250 swords and shields, 1000 t-shirts and 3500 people served at our feast.
There are currently 5 former Master Knights out on LDS missions with 5 more leaving this year and another 4-5 the next year.
There are three young men who have attended every single Summit. All three are serving in youth leader positions this year. Two as Master Knights.
Summit has benefited from two Eagle Scout projects in the past and has been approached about another one this year.
The only thing missing (in my book) is a wedding. I expect we’ll see that one in the next few years.

In the last 8 years Summit has changed my life. If it has changed yours, I encourage you to comment and share the impact it’s had on your life.

-Queen Emily

The Challenge of Living
by “Jeffrey Quinton Stevenson” (a pseudonym)

What the youth of today are facing every day is astounding. Unfortunately, it is not always astounding in a good way. Every day, kids face swearing, drugs, poor music, inappropriate pictures, extreme violence in their games, addiction to phones, and a whole host of other problems. In this world it can be a problem to be strong and maintain a good, uplifting outlook on life. It becomes increasingly difficult to maintain your integrity, and to raise your banner high.

I can speak with confidence when I say that so often people in my parent’s, and my grandparent’s times did not foresee an age where there would be so many problems. Indeed, they could not have foreseen almost any of today’s wonders. 1,000 years ago, if you wanted to talk to someone in another town, another state, or even another country, would have to sit down and write a letter, wait for weeks or months to have it delivered, and then wait for weeks or months more for a reply. Who would ever have guessed that now someone can roll out of bed, walk five feet to the desk, sit down at their personal computer at home or abroad, and have a quick video chat with people on the other side of the world? No one could have, not at the time.

One would think that in these amazing times, with incredible technologies that allow us to do so much more than we ever could before, that one could also stay so strong in the things that matter. It is sad that with all these great inventions we do almost nothing productive with them.
King Arthur, who lived almost 1,500 years ago, with no technology to really speak of, was able to unite a country under his banner. Part of this amazing feat undoubtedly had to do with the fact that he lived as an example of what he said. People would flock to Arthur’s banner because they knew that he was truly someone who could lead their country back to another golden age. So if he was able to do this, with the limitation of having to go somewhere to convince them join him under the standard he was raising, then why can we not do the same? Indeed why can we not do better?

So why do we try to do it alone today? There are so many people who have great ideas on how to change the world for the better, and yet because we don’t have someone who can show us how to start, we do not know where to go, or how to begin. All too few people these days wish they had someone to inspire them how to be a leader when they were young, and yet they wasted most of their childhood doing nothing.
To lead others, you must first know how to talk with them, understand them, and sympathize with them. For much of my life, I didn’t know that I even wanted to be a leader of anything, I had always assumed that I would be someone who just supported others in their dreams. One thing that all people need, especially when they are young, is a leader who can inspire them, and give them something to look up to. All leaders have a standard that they raise up before them. People would see the banner of King Arthur, and know that underneath that banner was someone who could lead them, inspire them to a better way, a better life.

Today’s future leaders can be powerful, but too many of them are too timid to raise up, and rise up to, the banner of their beliefs. The teenagers of today are a force to be reckoned with, if they would only take a stand. What they need is something to inspire them when they are young. I wish, for instance, that I had known about Summit when I was young. I now of course hope to be one of the many people who helps inspire a younger generation to raise up their banner. I still don’t know as much as I’d like about doing just that, so this is going to be, in a very real way, as much a learning experience for me as it will be for the boys I hope I will get the chance to lead.

This is another excellent paper from one of our youth applicants. I’m always so inspired to see what quality of youth we have. They aren’t just thinking about themselves. They are already preparing to lead the next generation!

Raise Your Standard High

Integrity

“Till I die I will not remove mine integrity from me” Job 27:5

The value Integrity is important to me, because at this time it is becoming increasingly hard to hold on to your Integrity. Most movies and T.V. shows are degrading influences in our lives and are trying to strip us of our Integrity. In some city’s you can’t even walk down the street without seeing something degrading or even disturbing. We need as youth and adults, to help the younger generation to raise their standards, and decide now what their values are, so it will be easier to withstand temptations and influences that they will inevitably have to face. As youth we need to be able to let our light so shine, so that the younger children have a moral model to look to as they start getting older. I think that it is important to teach the boys Integrity, because they will have to make decisions in their lives that are based on their Integrity, and if they have already decided what their decision will be and have role models who have high standards it will help them, not only now but in the future. How much better will the world be if we can help these boys discover their Integrity and become as Job? Last year a few hours or so before the battle it started raining really hard, it was so amazing that after Jared said a prayer, the rain stopped in just a few minutes. You could see the boys were all amazed, and even though I was cold and wet I could feel the spirit and it made a huge impact on my life. It made me realize that Summit is more than just a day camp where boys get to act as knights for the day and then have a big battle in the end. Summit is where memories are made and spiritual experiences will happen, if we let them.

Here is another great paper by one of our Youth Leader Applicants. Today is the last day! Get them in!

The Oath of Soldiers

To have integrity is to show yourself to others as God would have you seen by being upright, honest, and dependable. Someone who has integrity is trusted and respected by those they interact with. For example, if a person were asked to complete a task and this person were to complete the task within the set time frame and according to any set requirements, this person would gain much more respect than a person who were to finish late and/or did not fill all requirements.

Another part of integrity is to be as you say you are, to be true to your standards and not waver no matter what situation you are faced with. In ancient Athens when young men turned seventeen, they would take this oath:

We will never bring disgrace on this city by an act if dishonesty or cowardice.

We will fight for the ideals and sacred things of the city both alone and with many.

We will revere and obey the city’s laws and will do our best to incite a like reverence and respect in those above us who are prone to annul them or set them at naught.

We will strive increasingly to quicken the public’s sense of civic duty.

Thus in all there ways we will transmit this city, not only not less but greater and more beautiful than it was transmitted to us.

This is an example of immense integrity because it shows the standard which these young men were committed to. They promise, among other things, to “never bring disgrace…by an act of dishonesty” by taking this oath the young men of ancient Athens have raised their standard and have shown that they are not ashamed to fight for their city. When we show our integrity and raise our standard we show the world that we are not ashamed to fight for righteousness and to be great in the sight of God.

This paper was submitted by young woman who applied to be a Fair Maiden. She wished to have her name withheld. It’s so inspiring to hear from these amazing youth!

Something To Fight For
(name withheld)

43 AD, on the banks of the River Medway, the Romans attacked the tribes that inhabited the land of Britain. Most of the tribes united under the leadership of Togodomnus and his brother Caratacus, but one tribe defected to the Romans, undermining morale and manpower. The natives had 17,000 men under their command.
Due to the lack of a bridge, a group of special-ops Roman auxiliaries swam across the river, attacking the natives’ chariot horses. In the chaos that followed, the bulk of the invasion force, under the command of Titus Flavius Sabinus II, crossed the river. The Romans fought hard, and on the second day Roman Officer Geta led a daring attack, putting the Britons to flight.
The Romans, a power of 24,000, lost fifty men. The tribes lost 5,000.
The chaos of war surrounds the youth of my generation. Every day is filled with challenges and tests that need to be met and overcome. Led by a great King we fight for our eternal lives against an adversary that knows that in the end he will lose, but is determined to take as many of our army with him as he can. With every minute, every second, it grows more and more important to stick by the standard of my King in the defense of everything that I hold dear.
I don’t face grenades or sword-wielding Romans on a day-to-day basis, but my peers and I are fighting against weapons that become more and more real every day. With the media, the pressure, and the apathy that is so popular in this day and age, it isn’t hard to recognize how physical this war has become. As things get more and more convenient, hard things become harder and harder to do. And we need to do hard things.
In the Roman army, the ensigns and standards helped to keep the units together, since the soldiers could see them above the action. The purposes of the Roman standards were many, but included symbols of Roman power and honor and key symbols of the Roman army and soldiers in religious ceremonies. “The various standards were considered as sacred objects representing the spirit and soul of the various military units. To carry the standard was a very important and prestigious position.” (http://www.roman-colosseum.info/roman-army/roman-standard.htm )

A Standard to Live by
Before the confusion of battle, the act of lifting up the standard of your nation, a banner that represents everything you are fighting for, was a symbol of your commitment; the reaffirming of an oath. It meant that you were protecting your family, your home, and your livelihood. Often, the artistry of the banner had symbols expressing different virtues to be exemplified by those who fought under the standard.
It sometimes seems like a lot of emphasis is placed on who or what my generation needs to be fighting. But, with all that time spent on what to look out for and what not to do, it is easy to lose what we are fighting for and towards.
The value for this year’s Summit, Integrity, is awesome. According to dictionary.com, the word is defined as:
“1. Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.
2. The state of being whole entire, or undiminished.”
(http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t )
That’s a pretty hefty definition. But to me, integrity is a very individual thing, and while dictionary.com sums it up pretty well, here’s my take on it.
Integrity is having values and then standing firmly by them. Like drawing a line and then building a reinforced cement wall over it.
When I was completing the integrity value in the Personal Progress program, I remember thinking that it was kind of pointless. But now that I’ve (hopefully) learned more about life and how it works, I realize that integrity is probably the most important. Integrity encompasses all virtues and is the discipline to stick with them.
Back in beehives, one of my leaders had us write down a list of things that, no matter what, we would never do – promises we would never break. That list has actually helped me more than I thought it would.
Discipline comes from the Latin word discipuli, meaning ‘student’ or ‘follower’. While discipline makes me think of soldiers standing at attention and not blinking an eye, it really means that you’ve found something worth following to the exclusion of everything else.
So, integrity means having values and then believing in them to the point of not wanting to do anything that isn’t in line with them. In other words, “adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character…. The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.” (Ibid.)
The reason this is important to know, to understand, is that so many people think that it’s just important to be strong, but they don’t know what to be strong about. So they end up being resilient, instead. And, while that’s great, it ends up being a kind of pointless life. To have integrity gives you direction — something to build the wall with.

Raising a Standard
In the game limbo, it’s asked “how low can you go?” When you raise a standard high, it’s like asking “how high can you reach?” It means not doubting yourself and being proud of who you are and what you stand for.
Those marvelous young knights need to understand that a standard is more than just a cool flag, more than a piece of fabric to decorate. They need to know that it means something. That when they march under that banner, they represent something, someone. They represent us all, and what we stand for. The boys need to understand that what they do when under the standard or wearing the crest of their camp, it reflects on the kingdom and its honor.
It reminds me of the story we hear about Prince Louis XVII. His parents were killed during the first French Revolution, when Louis was eight years old. He became king to the royalists. His captors, knowing that they had the Prince of France, decided to play limbo with him. “ How low can he go?” They asked, and then introduced him to everything they could think of to make him a slave to his appetite.
For months they tried things; rich food, fast women, gambling, but he would not submit. In exasperation they asked him why he wouldn’t do these things? ‘Are they not pleasurable?’
I think Prince Louis calmly looked them in the eye when he said, ‘I cannot do what you ask, for I was born to be a king.’
Beatings came often to the young prince. “On one of these occasions, when the child had fallen half stunned upon his own miserable couch, and lay there groaning and faint with pain, Simon roared out with a laugh, “Suppose you were king, Capet, what would you do to me?” The child thought of his father’s dying words, and said, “I would forgive you.”” (http://www.awesomestories.com/flicks/marie-antoinette/louis-xvii-child-prisoner )
He understood who he was, and who he was to become. He knew that his actions would reflect not only on himself, but his family and his country. The boys need to understand the importance of their actions. The significance of their standard.

Sir Knights! Fair Maidens! Honorable Pages of the realm! King Richard and Queen Emily are pleased to announce that we are preparing to select the Youth Leaders for this year’s Summit to be held on September 7^th and 8^th in Salt Lake City!

Why a selection process?

Each year at Summit we are blessed to work with many wonderful, committed youth. The youth bring such a spirit of adventure and quality to the event and are the primary role models for the young boys attending. Due to limited spots and a desire to increase the commitment level of all of our volunteers, we will now be asking all those interested in Youth positions to apply and be screened. This process applies to all Master Knights, Pages, Apprentice Pages (a new position this year) and Fair Maidens.

What are we looking for?

We are looking for youth who are committed to the experience of the young knights. Those who are willing to make sacrifices, do hard things, put in the time and effort, and often take a back seat. We also want people who are excited to be a part of a life-changing experience. The purpose of having youth leaders is to INSPIRE. If you are interested in Summit because of a sword or a dress, these positions aren’t for you. If you want to help change the world, then you are the one we are looking for!

There are three parts to the application process.

FIRST – Click on this link to fill out an application You will be asked for your basic contact info, your previous Summit experience and you will choose a date and location for your interview.

SECOND – Write a paper. Our theme this year is RAISE YOUR STANDARD HIGH. Our virtue is Integrity. Please write about what these things mean to you and why they are important for the boys to learn. Share any personal experiences you’ve had. The purpose of the paper is for us to get to know you a little better. Grammar and spelling are far less important than the depth of thought you put into it. This paper will be read by the five committee members in charge of selection and no one else. When you are finished with your paper please email it to emilygclawson@gmail.com. We would like to share some of these papers on this website. If you would NOT like your paper to be included please let us know in your email. Names can be changed or omitted if desired.

THIRD  – Have your interview. Interviews will be held April 16th from 5-9 in Salt Lake City and April 17th from 5-9 in Orem. When you fill out your application you will be asked which date you want to attend. Your specific time will be assigned by April 12th and you will be notified by phone. If you are unable to attend either interview date special arrangements may be made by contacting me at the above email address. Your interview will be conducted by the selection committee. This will not be an academic oral report. Just a simple discussion to get an idea of your purpose and desire in participating in Summit.

If you have any questions please feel free to contact me at emilygclawson@gmail.com or 801-891-5031. Or you may contact Preston Miller, Lead Master Knight, at pjmbookworm@gmail.com or 801-709-3279.

Thank you for participating this year. We are so excited to be working with you!

Admit it, Dads, you are wishing there was something like this when you were a kid. That is one of the things that makes this event so wonderful. Dads come and participate and get to be involved in make believe in a way that not only is fun, but also makes a significant impact for good on their sons. When we all come together, over a 100 volunteers, 150 boys and their families, the spirit of the event is a high like none other I’ve ever experienced.

This is just a tiny glimpse of what Knights of Freedom Summit is really all about. We teach boys to be leaders and Heroes!

Thanks to Matt Barr of Barr Photo for the awesome video!

~Queen Emily

Yesterday I posted about my feelings of frustration and overwhelm as I tried to teach my young son how to behave, to stop the destructive behavior. Today I’m going to share how one seemingly small, though extremely daring purchase changed our attitude toward our son, and therefore, changed him as well.

One day in Wal-mart, not long after the flooding of our basement, I saw a small hammer. It wasn’t a toy, it was a real hammer but it was small enough that a five year old could lift it fairly easily. I was desperate for anything to keep and hold my son’s attention for more than five minutes. It was a rash purchase and I wondered all the way home if I had completely lost my mind. Was I really going to allow this terror of a child to have an actual tool/weapon like that? He’d already seen it and couldn’t wait to get home and try it out.

I sat him down on the patio with a handful of nails and a small log from our firewood pile and let him go for it. I could see his little chest puff up with pride at being allowed a real tool just like the one that his dad used. It was a little bit dangerous and I hovered over him, waiting for the first sign of impending disaster. I was completely surprised when an hour passed, then two. He carefully and deliberately pounded every one of those nails into that log. Not only did he have a great time while he was hammering but for the rest of the day he was a more respectful, happy kid. He went through his dresser and found some clothes that seemed to him like “construction clothes” and walked around with his hammer tucked into his belt.

It was a simple thing but in that moment my eyes were opened to the fact that I had been given a builder as a son! He had a deep and burning desire to understand the ways that things worked and to create something new and interesting that had never existed before (even if it was nothing more than a log with some nails in it). It was a week later that he decided to try to nail things together. Eventually he ended up designing and building a working trebuchet in our backyard. He is now quite the inventor, working with robotics and pneumatic design.

When we shifted our attention from trying to STOP him from destroying, to trying to find AVENUES for his passion we discovered a world of parenting that we’d never known before.

Whatever your child’s passion, whether he knows what it is or not, helping him to discover and channel that passion will change your entire family for the better. Your son may not be a builder, he may be a musician, a storyteller, a rescuer – whatever he may be you will find that by harnessing HIS passion and suiting your family to be a support structure for that passion, you will help him to become a leader.

Mark Twain once said, “There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy’s life that he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.” Let’s help our sons find that treasure that is hidden within themselves!

~Queen Emily

When our oldest son turned three it was like a hurricane had been unleashed in our home. This child who had been a great sleeper and a happy, easy going kid suddenly turned into a terror! I had recently given birth to our daughter and made the move to be a stay at home mom and I was dismayed and, at times, seriously overwhelmed.

Every mother of active boys probably knows exactly what I’m referring to but here are a few of the interesting bits of trouble that he got into:

- He loved to mix things. I discovered this when I was in our basement and looked up to see bright red liquid running down the walls. He had found everything liquid in the refrigerator, including red kool-aid, and blended it together on the kitchen floor. The red streaks on the walls had come when it had run down a small crack behind the refrigerator. A similar experience occurred involving eggnog during the Holidays.

- He used our classic vinyl collection as frisbees.

- He was constantly being pulled down from swinging in his closet like a monkey.

-I found him on top of the refrigerator multiple times.

-He pulled a five pound package of spaghetti noodles out of the storage room and scattered them through the house.

-I emerged from putting the baby down for a nap (thinking my son was also napping) to discover chocolate footprints throughout the house, the baking cocoa canister was empty.

There were many days when I called my husband at work in tears. We put child proof latches on every door, drawer and cupboard in our house but still he would find ways through the fortress. I found myself increasingly using phrases like “can’t you just be good for once?” or “what is the matter with you?” In short, none of us was feeling very happy in our home.

One day after his fifth birthday he was swinging in the backyard with some friends and I went downstairs to do the laundry only to find the basement carpet completely soaked. I searched for frantically for the source of the water and discovered that it was running out of the cracks around the dryer door. Our son had put the hose in the outside dryer vent and turned it on. Within the week he turned on our jetted tub without any water in it, burning up the motor and making the tub unusable. The damage amounted to over a thousand dollars and my husband and I had really hit the limit. All of our efforts to TELL him how to behave, to use time-outs and punishments had been fruitless. My husband was frustrated with me, feeling that I wasn’t watching our son closely enough and I was beyond discouraged. Each of these incidents had occurred in mere minutes when I had my back turned.

How did we get past this hurdle? How did we direct our difficult and destructive five year old into the respectful, responsible, artistic and very handy fifteen year old? Read tomorrow’s article for the solution that we discovered in a moment of desperation.